When Are You Truly Free?


It’s been many months since I last posted.  A lot has gone on in my life and yet, not enough has changed.

By that I mean I am still legally married.  Ugh.  Sad but true.  Not through any procrastination on my part but rather Number Two – – who couldn’t wait to move on from me less than twenty-four hours after telling me he was done with our relationship – – suddenly seemed to find finalizing our divorce not exactly a priority.  Why?  No idea and I guess it doesn’t really matter.  It’s just incredibly frustrating.

So I’m still working with that, still working on getting myself legally free of him and what do you know?  Valentine’s Day hits.

I hate Valentine’s Day.  I always have had a hate-hate relationship with it, even when I have been part of a couple.  It’s a bullshit “holiday” that exists only to make single people feel bad about themselves.  What is that about?  Let’s pick a day to celebrate love and lovers and exclude a great part of the population!  Awesome!

I chose to go to an event that was supposed to be a social thing, to meet people and not necessarily in the male-female pair off sense.  And yet it felt just like that.  I felt uncomfortable and realized that while I have moved on in my life, I’m just not free yet.  I’m perfectly happy going out with my friends to just have fun and hang out but I’m not in a place (yet) where I am ready to become a duo again.

My question to you, lovelies, is are you truly free?  How long did it take for you to become free?  Care to share any war stories?

2 thoughts on “When Are You Truly Free?

  1. I can say from personal experience…if a child is involved..you will never truly be free. my situation grows more complicated by the day,…but…I am planning on going to my step-son’s wedding this June with my ex, and his ex wife and her husband will be there. We laugh, since we are both dreading being around her. After 16 years of our marriage together, then separating, we both still get along rather well, and we both agree, that horrid woman made our life a living hell! As soon as our son (my step, however, I refer to him as son..) turned 18 though, I did take a deep sigh of relief to not have to deal with her as often….
    Now, for my own situation…We have 3 children together…I do not think I will ever be free of him…hence why I have tried so very hard to make this as amicable as ever…
    From stories from friends..it has taken several years to feel disconnected enough to move on…although I have others who have moved on before the ink dries on the divorce papers….Probably depends on how deep the hurt runs and who comes into their lives, or if they are running from one issue right smack dab into another!

  2. Thanks for your post, anonymous. It’s definitely more difficult to be fully free when a child is involved. I do agree that there is a vast difference on how quickly some move on while it takes time with others and I greatly appreciated your point that people who jump into another relationship immediately are usually headed into another issue or issues.

    Have a great day!

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