Game Show Hostesses Need Not Apply

imagesCAHPMEHBThis may sound like a crazy question but stick with me, okay?

Can you be subjected to too much positivity at times?  Don’t you have those moments where you just need a “woe is me” minute?  Or hour?  Or day?  And if you do, isn’t that okay?

I am not a depressive person generally.  My instances with depression have always been connected to men (go figure).   But there are occasions when I am feeling blue and I just don’t want to hear “You are so much better off now!”, “Embrace this change!”, “Better now than later . . . “, “He obviously wasn’t right for you”, “Now you are free to find a better man!”, etc.  Honestly, with regard to statement 1, no shit.  Statement 2 (and remember this is when I’m feeling blue), fuck the change right now.  Statement 3, maybe but it all sucks and say that again and you will find yourself face planted on the pavement three flights down.  Statement 4, oh really?  Where were you when I asked your opinion on him before I committed?  Statement 5, contrary to popular opinion, when you are in the midst of a divorce the last thing you truly need is yet another man (or woman) to invest yourself in.  Please.

I have a friend who means well and has a great heart but last week I wanted to string her up and slime her.  I had a bad week.  A horrible week.  I didn’t need to hear any of the above statements.  I didn’t need to be reminded how much better my life was going to be and how I needed to stop thinking about all this (AS. IF.) and focus on how great I am.  Again, I know she means well but what I wanted to hear was “Your ex is a total asshole!” (heard from someone else, thank you).  Or “I’m sorry, it’ll get better” (heard from someone else, thank you).  Or “Look at that picture of Robert Downey, Jr. – – isn’t he HOT?” (heard from someone else, thank you).  Or just “I’m sorry” (heard from someone else, thank you).

You know, sometimes those of us going through the apocalypse of divorce just need to vent.  We don’t always need a cheerleader to remind us of how awesomely, wonderfully positive this major life change will be for us.  We don’t always want people to act like our mother and tell us to snap out of it.  We know we need to snap out of it (eventually) and we know our life will eventually get back on track and improve.   And while we’re blue, while we’re grieving, it’s always appreciated to know that what we’re feeling is okay. It’s normal.

tumblr_lnthsta9V01qc630fo1_400Said friend above who is dangerously close to a sliming has the unfortunate habit of asking me almost daily how I feel, if I’m better, what I’m doing, etc.  When I am feeling particularly bitchy I consider saying “I was just about to hang myself from my shower rod but I guess I can wait until after this call.” or “I’m so glad you called!  How long does it take lye to destroy a body?”  But that would probably increase her worry about my mental state and therefore increase the phone calls.   I don’t mind that she’s checking up on me; in fact, it’s nice to know that if you go off the grid for more than eight hours, someone notices.  However . . . being constantly asked how you’re doing and feeling makes me feel as though I’m on a specific timetable for overcoming grief and getting through this divorce.  I certainly don’t need that.

Talk to me.  Do you have friends or family that you feel have you on a grief timetable?  Are you currently blue over your loss?  Do you think there can be moments when sunshine and roses just isn’t acceptable?  Do you miss the original The Price is Right as much as I do?

Miracle Monday #3

MIRACLE-MONDAYS-TO-SIZE

What am I grateful for today?

I am grateful for my girlfriends. It’s said that you never know who your real friends are until you’re in a crisis and that is so true. Real friends won’t just say they are sorry to hear about your split, they will go the extra mile by holding your hand when you need to cry, help you pack/unpack/move, force you into getting off your butt to go out and have that margarita! They will listen to you debate over the most irrelevant minutae of your relationship and assure you that everything will be fine and you won’t be all alone one day with twenty cats.

Do you have girlfriends like this?

What are you grateful for today?

Miracle Monday #2

MIRACLE-MONDAYS-TO-SIZE

What am I grateful for today?

I am grateful that I have the entire bed to myself. I don’t have to deal with sheets/blankets being pulled off me (waking up to being freezing cold is no fun), my pillow being pulled out from under my head (waking up to your head smacking the headboard is no fun), being kicked or shoved (waking up to hanging off the bed is no fun) or being drowned in morning breath and/or excessive farting (no comment is probably necessary). I can sit up and read as long as I like, without the bedside lamp disturbing anyone and I can work on my laptop whenever I want without the clicking of the keys keeping anyone awake.

Tell me, what are you thankful for today?

Miracle Monday #1

Miracles-Happen

Mondays are a bitch, aren’t they?  No matter how much, or little, we do over the weekend Monday shows up like a steamroller and even though I truly love my job, I always find myself wishing for just one more day.  Or at least more time to sleep in.

So I think I will start posting things that I am grateful for on Mondays.  It’s a good way to start the week and a good reminder that even in the tornado of a divorce, there are still blessings – – and miracles – – to be found.

What am I grateful for today?  I am grateful for my job.  Not only did I get it at the perfect time, right after I moved, but I work with fantastic, kind and fun people who make the so-called 9-5 a joy.  As an added bonus, I took a nice pay raise for this job.  Take that, Number 2!

Tell me, what are you thankful for today?